Wrapping it up

So, to conclude. Looking at "my" profile, I have 82 friends, the vast majority of whom don't seem to care at all that they are friends with a person that does not exist. They assume because this person has my name, it is me, despite a profile picture that is not of me (thank you lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.com) and totally different interests (twilight? really?) and attitudes. I think the conclusion to draw here is either that a) people on the internet are hugely unobservant or b) none of my friends ever look at my profile or c) reality television and the way in which it distorts our perception of reality has made it possible for us to accept utterly ridiculous personalities and scenarios as "real" and plausible... because that's how it is on TV, right?

To be fair, some people figured it out (like, 5 maybe?) But these were three of my good friends, my sister, and my cousin. They should be able to tell it's not me. Oh, and I think Ailish asked about it too. But 6 out of 82? That's only like 7% of my friends. That worries me a little bit. Because honestly, what do we really know about people who are our "friends" on facebook? We take their word for all the information that they give us and assume that they're telling the truth. But we really can create an image of ourselves that is exactly what we want others to see-- so who, in all honesty, puts out their real, genuine, unedited self onto the internet? What I did with this project was just taking to the extreme what we all do on Facebook every day.

So did this "person" become more real than myself? I don't know, and I wonder know if that's the question to be asking. For 76 people it was real enough, so I guess that means yes. But if anything, this project has taught me that the word "real" can have many meanings and variations; what is real in one context may not be in another. So I think this entity, alter-ego and I are both real, but in different ways, and not with one more so than the other. I am more real in the physical world in which we live, and they are more real out there on the internet. And that's the way it should be I hope-- I would never want to actually exist more on the internet than I do in real life.

So that's it... two or so weeks later. It's going to be a relief, I think, to go back to my old Facebook account and be my "real" self again. It's been difficult not interacting with people in the way I want to, and not saying the things I want to-- this entity did take over my life in that sense-- they controlled all my output onto the internet, and I'll be happy to have that aspect of my life back under control.

Eh bien, continuons.

Interesting

One thing I noticed as I was looking through my fake Facebook account was that the ads that appear on the side of the screen are radically different than those I get on my normal account. Now, I know it's no secret that Facebook uses information from your profile to place advertisments in which it thinks you'll be interested (hence all of the ads I usually get are for websites to order books, and, oh yes "single gay women in your area." thanks Facebook.) But it never struck me just what this means. Because now all the ads on my sidebar are for Miley Cyrus and Jonas Brothers and reality tv shows and shopping.. it's actually pretty funny, but also a little disturbing. Because it makes me feel like one day Facebook will be able to read my mind. On a lighter note, at least I have fooled Facebook into thinking that my alter ego is a real person with a legitimate interest in all things pop culture. But Facebook doesn't really care whether I physically exist or not, as long as it can potentially sell things to me. One internet entity accepts another as "real." An interesting concept, maybe.

Beginning of the end

I'm going to be wrapping this project up tomorrow probably, delete my alter-ego account and go back to my regular Facebook use. More than anything else, this project has just confused me. I think if I had better organized it, it might have made more sense and I could draw clearer conclusions, but as it is I'm struggling to figure out if I actually learned anything. Because for the most part, my crazy persona has gone unnoticed-- only good friends have caught on. I think most people on Facebook who are my "friends" don't even know me well enough to notice a complete personality reversal, which I suppose is rather telling. I think if I edited my friends down to only the people I actually consider friends in life and not on the internet, I'd have much much fewer. The nature of relationships on the internet is so simplified-- everything has a category "friend" "relative" even "it's complicated." Things lose their complexity because no one wants to take the time to write or read the full situation of any relationship. On Facebook, my best friend in the entire world and a girl I haven't spoken to since elementary school both become just my "friends." And even if you look at interactions between people, a full story is never told because everyone knows that it's in public view, so they censor and edit. Reality online is an interesting study in dichotomies-- while it allows for characters and personalities and relationships that could never exist in real life, they need to fit in certain boxes-- it's become much less free-form. You can't write in all your favorite books and whatnot anymore on Facebook; you need to choose them from a list. So I think at the same time that Facebook is allowing different personalities to flourish, it is simultaneously killing individuality. Interesting, no?

So, I had to give this a break for a bit. Basically I was out of ideas and was working more on the class project stuff, but I've started back up again, so I can have a final result and wrap things up before finals. My friend, who knows about the project, told me that she liked the idea, but didn't think I was going far enough-- she says it won't work if I'm just on facebook like I normally am-- I need to get in peoples' faces and get them to pay attention to my alter-ego, and then see if people can tell that this person doesn't exist. So I'm stepping it up a little-- posting random links, joining every group I can think of, constant status updates, etc, and we'll see if this fake persona is accepted as real.
But you know, through this class I've been looking at a lot of the reality TV that's out there, not to mention a lot of the craziness on the Internet, and it's caused me to wonder: how far is too far? I mean how utterly absurd do you have to be before people start to think "no, no real person can possibly be this way?" I've been watching some Jersey Shore and other shows like that to get ideas for our movie we're making, and I honestly would not have believed that people like that actually existed. So where's the breaking point? Where does it cross over into madness? What is reasonable anymore anyway?
I'm keeping at it for a few more days and will keep updating this blog with observations. Until then...

Oh, on a side note, my cousin found me out. She wasn't friends with the alter ego, but she was looking through my "disappeared" account and flat-out asked me "are you trying to pretend you don't exist?" She's always been good at calling my bluffs though, so I'm not surprised. I had to delete her wall post though so other people don't catch on.

Hmm....

Well, my best friend caught to the fact that things weren't what they seemed after I made all my favorite TV shows reality shows and claimed to like Twilight... maybe that was going a little overboard. She thought my little sister had taken over my account. Close enough. But otherwise, everyone just assumes that this person is me... and really, they don't have a reason not to. I wonder how ridiculous this character would have to be for the majority of people to stop believing that it's actually someone who exists in real life? Hmm... maybe that's what I'll try for the rest of the week-- see where the breaking point of reality on the Internet is. Because we're presented with such ridiculous "real" characters on "reality" TV and on the Internet already -- is there a point anymore where things just become unbelievable? Let's see...

Step Two: Stop and Think

So, I updated some information on my new account-- interests, activities and the like. I'm trying to create a person akin to the kind we see on reality TV, although I'm not entirely sure what all my interests would be-- "making a fool of myself for the viewing pleasure of millions of people"? So I'm just kind of winging it-- thinking of all the things I actually don't like and going from there.

I'm just not entirely sure where this idea is going, so I think I need to take some time and think about what exactly it is that I want to accomplish with this. Is this even art? If it is, what kind of message am I trying to convey with it? I mean, what do I want the end result of this project to be, and how can I get the people involved in it to realize it? How will I know when I'm finished? And how, in the end, does this relate back to the theme of our larger class project? I mean, I guess the idea of the lines between the reality of the internet and television and actual reality being blurred is somewhat there, but how do I make that more clear? At this point I have a lot of questions and not many answers, so I guess I'll present this to the class tomorrow and ask their opinion. Stay tuned.

Step One: Disappear

Ok, maybe I'm being a little melodramatic here, but I just went through my facebook account and deleted all the information that I could: interests, favorite books, music, movies, all wall posts from the past month, etc. etc., and it felt a little like I was deleting pieces of my life, deleting memories. I mean, on one hand, obviously that's ridiculous, because a) I do have an actual, functioning memory in my head and b) it's not like I actually ever go back on facebook and look through all my old wall posts or status updates or anything. But I had to look back through them all in order to delete them, and it surprised me how much of my life I do in fact put out there-- my being in India, college decisions, memories and funny moments from the play... I had a moment of panic, like "How will I remember these things now??" But I managed to calm down and finish the deleting, finishing with creating a blank profile picture. So I have now effectively disappeared from Facebook...
... just kidding. The Real Meg McClure profile page was creating, and I haven't put anything up just yet, just posted something about having to create a new account due to "problems with my old one or something." I haven't put up any information, photos, anything yet (it's all forthcoming) and I requested 30 random friends from school (all of whom accepted.) I also got, as of Friday night, 49 friend requests. I felt a little guilty, oddly enough, for "deceiving" (if you will) my friends like this, but it's all in the name of education, so onwards we go. Everything is (mostly) in place for this week and the experiment of the Real Meg McClure-- is she more real than I am? Stay tuned...